Love

So here is a subject perfect for my blog. Dreams of course! These pregnancy dreams are crazy! It is nothing new to me however, because I have always had crazy, vivid dreams. I grew up with my dad helping to translate our families dreams and have learned this skill as well. I have also done some study to the miracle and gift of dreams (if you are interested I encourage you to read Lauri Loewenberg's book or visit her website!) But these pregnancy dreams are all typically about the same thing...

Last Nights Dream

I somehow found out that Shawn had a girl in another state that he liked. This has happened in other dreams, where he has had a "crush." But this time I asked him if he has ever gone up to visit her. He had. Then if he had ever had sex with her, and with a disturbing nonchalance he said yes!! The emotions I feel in these dreams are super real. I even feel them after waking up, sometimes for an hour or more. I believe this is a physiological thing and most people experience it as well, but it is fascinating! And also a little disheartening. Even though your brain knows it never happened and never could, it FEELS like it has in a very real way.The pain! However, it is sort of a weird little blessing too, because then when reality starts to settle back in I realize how incredibly lucky I am.

 (In case you are wondering usually "cheating" dreams during pregnancy are a reflection of your body changing and maybe even some insecurity about it, as well as the worry that your partner may find you less desirable. It is a a very very common dream for pregnant women.)

There are not enough things I can say about this man. He is amazing. There is nobody on this earth who could love me more. Second only to my parents of course, he has taught me what true unconditional love is. He is constant in his support and love. He has changed me and I love who I am with him. Again, there is not enough I can say about him! I see him and he shines above everything else in the world. Looking at these pictures of him makes me swoon. Makes my knees weak! (Still! The first time I went to visit him at his house in High School my knees literally buckled walking up his sidewalk! I almost fell over!) To me he is the most beautiful, sexiest man alive! There are just no words I have to describe how I feel when I look at him, even when I have been with him all day!

Typically the phrase "he would take a bullet for me" garners the highest level of loyalty one can express. But in some way, I know he would do more. He lives to make me happy. TRULY happy. He does not sugar coat anything! From the outside it can seem someone harsh sometimes, but he gives completely of himself in a way that is the best for me.

I am SO incredibly lucky! So incredibly blessed! I don't know that I deserve him most of the time. There are just many more great qualities he doesn't show everyone, so you just got to take my word for it! But my life is full of joy because of this man. In fact, that is what garnered the title of my blog itself. I am sowing dreams. For so long it was my dream to marry this man. My dreams have come true and they seem to come true over and over as I find I can love him more everyday ( which always seems impossible!). Then my dream was to have little Asian babies with him! These things seem like regular life milestones for most - but not so in my life. I worked for these, but also of course have been blessed by a merciful, loving Heavenly Father who knew exactly who was perfect for me.

My dreams will never come true (the ones of him not loving me completely or loving another). I know that with clear certainty. And these painful, emotional short experiences are kind of a huge blessing and nice experience because it helps me to re-realize, with energetic, spiritual enthusiasm, that my dreams have already come true! He is my dream come true....and so much more.